I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
