Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
