it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
