Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
