I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
