I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
