She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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