is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
