i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
