wanna go halves on a baby?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
