i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
