My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so that wasnt chicken after all
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
