Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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