I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize