You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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