last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
