best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
