fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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