so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize