If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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