My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
