YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
