the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Alive.
So much puke
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
