so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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