I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
