i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
