I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
