i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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