it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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