there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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