i don't like sucking hair
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
