do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
