girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
