Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
