i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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