i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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