You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
