I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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