how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
