i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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