U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
