There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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