I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
