my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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