Where did you get a picture of my penis
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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