its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
