Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
