His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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