dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
