I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
