sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
