just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
is it fun? or sober?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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