I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
