Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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