I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
