the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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