turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
