Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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