some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well you can't waste a boner
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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