he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
