He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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