i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
