I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
