I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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