I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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