she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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